I know what you're thinking, "Didn't you graduate from UGA back in May?" Great question. Yes, I did in fact, but today makes it real, because it is the first first day of school in my entire life that I don't actually have to go to school.
And what am I doing today, on my first day of student retirement? Going to the UGA campus, of course. Ironic I know, but there's just nothing like sitting on a bench in North Campus with a cup of coffee and an enticing book (that no professor is forcing me to read) and watching all of the sweat-drenched freshmen as they frantically search their oversized maps to find their classes in the intimidating halls of Leconte and Gilbert.
I can't help but feel a stab of jealousy as I observe them, and the longer I sit, the more I realize that I am jealous, jealous of where they are in life and of the grand adventure that they are about to embark upon these next four years. I try to picture myself as one of them, and I almost spill my coffee as I remember my freshman year, anxiously studying the bus schedules and campus maps and pre-reading my text books before the first day of class (yes, I was that girl).
It's funny to think about because I don't even recognize that girl anymore. (Ok, so I still liked to read my text books)...but over the past four years, I've been wrecked, stretched, and challenged in more ways than I could count, and I sit here today a completely different person than I ever could have imagined that I would be. I entered college prepared to be pre-med (ha) or pre-law, or really just pre-anything that would feed into a good job that would make me "successful" and "rich" by the standards of this world. And where am I now? Beginning to fundraise in order to move to a foreign country to love lost kids and tell them about Jesus....needless to say, that wasn't a part of the original plan.
So, how did I get here? I have no other answer to give to you except for God's grace.
And praise the Lord that He had a better plan in mind than I had for myself.
During the course of my college career, the Lord has both broken me down and lifted me up; He's taught me difficult lessons and has revealed to me more of His heart and the heart of my desire. He romanced me and drew me towards Himself, and as I delighted more in Him, He molded me more into the woman that He created me to be. And I pray that that transformation and growth never ceases.
And from what I've experienced, Jesus uses change to move in huge ways in our lives, to grow us and teach us more of who He is. G.K. Chesterton says, "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered."
In the face of transition and uncertainty, we have a choice to make: to give into anxiety and worry as we recognize our lack of control, or to view this new phase of life as an opportunity to rely on Christ and make room for Him to work.And that's how I'm trying to view all of this change that's going on in my life, as an adventure, not an inconvenience.
As many of you know, I'm no longer heading to Mexico this fall, as was the original plan. I went on a visit to Tuxtla Gutierrez in March, and while I loved the city and the people, I did not feel that it was the place where I needed to live for the next three years.
So it was back to the drawing board for me. I'm still heading to Central America with Young Life, but I'm uncertain as to where I will be exactly. And surprisingly, I'm ok with that...it's very unlike me, but I'm very peaceful and content with where I am right now. This summer was awesome: I had the incredible opportunity to work at SharpTop Cove (a Young Life camp in Jasper, GA) for 3 weeks during the first part of the summer, where the Lord rejuvenated me and used some sweet high school girls to make me so excited to go on Young Life staff; I travelled to Colorado for 10 days to visit Frontier Ranch, see my older brother and sister, hike my first 14-er, and see the Avett Brothers in concert; I've visited some of my favorite people at Windy Gap in NC and spent some amazing times with family at Lake Rabun, my favorite place in the world. And now I'm home in Athens, working at Morning Glory Bakery in Watkinsville, GA (come on in ;) and praying for friends and family to come alongside me to support the Lord's work in Latin America through their prayers and support. And I cannot imagine doing anything else!
"I will make you lie down in safety, and I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord" Hosea 2:19-21
